Realization

Taking decisions seems so easy. Both small and large, personal and professional. When I look back on the past few days, months and years, I can recognize a pattern in my thought process while confronting a decision making occasion. I always stand out of the problem and have a third party view and take a decision which is right at that point of time.


Have I regretted any of them? Yes, I have. But has it stopped me from taking decisions in this method? No. Simply because I find it easy to detach myself and not dwell on regrets too much. I work towards forgetting the bad feeling that is associated with regret and learning from the process. Maybe this is my escape route and it works for me. It works because, all my life, with all the ups and downs, I have suddenly discovered that I have generally been a happy person! My light bulb moment for this year :-).

About learning and changing for the better

Lots of changes during the last few months...still reeling under the experiences, some lessons learnt, some fingers burnt.

I am trying to put down the most important lessons that I have learnt. Anyone reading these might feel that there is nothing new. One has definitely read it on a random quotes site or an email forward.

But for me, these really do mean something, I have experienced each of these first-hand. This also proves one of my theories – one has to experience for oneself the lessons of life, one just does not learn from others’ experiences.


1. It’s never too late to ask questions and learn.

2. Nothing ever remains a constant. Things change, people change, you change.

3. Time is a good healer…but not without scars

4. In most cases, you only remember how you felt, not what made you feel that way. It is that reminder of how you felt which either scares you or makes you look forward for similar experiences.

5. Every relationship is a ‘deal’…you give some, you take some. There are no exceptions.

6. You should make your own decision. Always.

7. You have to plan your old age funds.

8. It is always better to give others a benefit of doubt.

9. Children show us how to live life, if only we had the time and patience to observe and learn.

10. There is a thin line between being polite and being a doormat.


Life is so happening!!!

Can I?

From where does will power originate? Can it be learnt? Taught? Bought? Is it in one’s nature or is it something that can be imbibed into oneself?

This subject is bothering me no end. What do you do when you are fighting something so much and somehow things don’t work out the way you want them to? I have often prided myself to be a strong person amidst crises. But now thinking backwards, most of them have been others’ problems and I might have been the support figure only. Maybe I am not strong enough to fight my own battles.

All the encouraging words seem hollow to me and have stopped striking a chord. I know that I need a lot of will power to win my private battles but it’s not to be found anywhere in sight.

I need a glimmer of hope.

Pigeons and a dilemma

Last week, we found an egg on top of a suitcase in the attic of my bedroom. We also saw two pigeons flying in and out of the always-open bedroom window. The kids were excited but I was in a dilemma. I did not know what to do because I was concerned about the mess that would be created and that too in my bedroom!

The hubby and I did some research and found that the pigeons always lay a pair of eggs and they don’t empty the nest for around 50 days in total! Now that was a really long time for us to tolerate them inside the house. We decided that we would not allow the pigeons to start their family in our house but were very concerned about the kind of role models we were going to be for the kids due to this ‘barbaric’ act!

Deep inside, I was very sad about the whole thing. Again I took refuge in the internet and read many experiences where people made the same decision that we made and consoled myself that the birds would find some other place and it’s not a very big deal (well, it still makes me guilty). The kids were questioning incessantly about the whole event and we were not able to break it to them that we were about the throw the egg away.

So, now my husband comes up with a brilliant idea. He tells the kids that they were going to make a bird nest out of scratch and place the egg in it so that the pigeons find and start hatching it :-). The kids were obviously excited. So he took out his tools, wood, nails, hammer et al and the three of them started building this “hakki goodu”. I was quite surprised to see him go about the task with such dedication that I deduced that he was feeling as guilty as I was and had just not talked about it. The nest was ready and the egg was placed on top of carefully selected bits of twigs and cotton and this was hung on my terrace. The kids spent the evening waiting for the birds to magically know that their new nest was ready and to start using it. But alas, as we had guessed, no bird came. The kids were disappointed (and somewhere deep down we were too) but the thrill of building the nest kept them occupied and happy.

I want to assume that we have not really abandoned a family and we have done our best and have also tried to set a good example to the kids. Parenting is surely not an easy task!

My thoughts on "The Secret of the Nagas"

I am a magnet to anything that has ancient written over it – people, movies, books, blogs, discussions… anything. Naturally, I was drawn to the fiction series currently in publication, the Shiva Trilogy by Amish Tripathi.

  

I bought the first book on Flipkart and started devouring it right away. Titled ‘The Immortals of Meluha’, the book introduced Shiva as a foreigner, migrating to India from Tibet. The author was successful in depicting Shiva as a mortal and in the course of his adventure, making sure that many fables and myths that we have heard about Shiva are stitched on to the story perfectly. A notable mention must be made to the wonderfully detailed description of ancient India, it’s geography and the culture. The language was a little light for readers of serious fiction, but employing that ‘light’ tone helped in showcasing the ‘human' personality of Shiva and sets the tone of his relationship with the various characters in the book – the light banter with Sati, the chaddi-dost talks with Bhadra, etc.. But of course, ‘goddamnit’, ‘bloody hell’… were over the top for me! That book was definitely a page turner and it ended with a high-note, a possible kidnap of Sati from the most fearsome enemy, the mysterious Naga.

I got the second book, ‘The Secret of the Nagas’, delivered at my doorstep, just a couple of days after the launch (thank you Flipkart!). Again, overnight reading was done. This book is not as fast as the first one, but the storytelling and the language have improved tremendously. The lightness in the narration is still present, but unnecessary slangs are not. The story picks off from the kidnap and we enjoy an adventure with Shiva and team from ancient east India to the south Indian Western Ghats, with a stop at Bengal :-). The actual secret which is revealed at the end is a letdown. I could guess it half-way through the book. But the most interesting aspect of this book is that Amish has cleverly weaved the most well-known fables of Shiva into the book and it all makes wonderful sense.

  

Faith of different cultures and how that leads to definition or personification of good and evil is, I think, the primary focus of the trilogy. Shiva is in doubt at every step because what he perceives as good is not the ‘good’ and what he understands as evil may not be evil. How does he do the right thing? Does he actually know whether he is fighting for the good or for the evil? From what does India need to be saved? The first book gives Shiva his first shock in understanding good vs. evil. The second one goes deeper, and at every step he is faced with this confusion. An interesting and hopefully explosive aswer awaits him and us in the third and last installment.

Few notes on the second book (Spoilers ahead):

Early Shiva

• The incident where Shiva could not save a woman keeps showing up. Does that event have anything to do later-on in the story or was it only a character-defining moment for Shiva?

• The part where an uncle gives the mysterious medicine (is that the naga medicine?) to Shiva is intriguing. He specifically asks him not to swallow but to retain the medicine in his throat. Is he setting the stage for Shiva to be the ‘Neelkanth’? If yes, is this all a puppet show by some one? 

Sati, Parvati, Kali, Durga, Uma?

• One of the most well-known stories about Shiva and Sati is the Daksha yagna story. In this story, Sati immolates herself in the yagna that Daksha would have performed in his kingdom. She does so because Daksha would have insulted Shiva by not inviting him to the festivities and Sati wishes to be born of parents who will respect her husband. Sati is then born as Parvati who marries Shiva. This story is not yet weaved into the story of the book. There is a slightly similar but opposite situation when Daksha comes to Swadweep without invitation and is insulted by Shiva and sent back to Meluha. Would Daksha take revenge for his humiliation in the next book? Would Sati die? Or is this story not a part of the trilogy?
• Amish has both Sati and Parvati created as the Sati of his books - Parvati is the daughter of Himavan or the lord of the mountains (Parvateshwar?). Kartikeya is actually the son of Parvati and not Sati.
• Slight difference in Kali’s birth – here she is Daksha’s daughter (Sati’s sister). According to the myths, she was created by Shiva out of rage after Sati immolated herself. Kali, along with Veerabhadra, was commanded to destroy Daksha and his men. They eventually beheaded Daksha but he was pardoned and a goat’s head was placed on him.
• Uma’s namesake is the brigadier at Branga. Durga has not made an appearance yet :-).

Brihaspati

• The angle of Bhrigu, Brihaspati and Tara is confusing for those who know the actual mythological relationship between these characters. Tara is Brihaspati’s wife and not Bhrigu’s daughter. Soma (or Chandra, the moon god) kidnaps Tara and a war is fought between Brihaspati and Soma. Brahma eventually stops the war and restores Tara back to her husband. Interestingly, Rudra sided Soma in this war! Another interesting tidbit is that Bhrigu is the son-in-law of Daksha. I think Amish has taken the writer’s liberty and has used these names for his story. I might be missing some link too. After all, the ancient stories are too vast to be read or remembered!

Peacocks and Kartik?

• The peacock slaying ritual is not explained fully. Lord Kartikeya’s symbol is a peacock – just a point to be noted :-)
• Surapadman was actually an asura whom Kartikeya kills. So this might be coming up in the third book. Maya is Surapadman’s mother and sage Kashyapa is his father. Isn’t Maya Athithigva’s naga sister? Or again is this a same-name conflict? He also had two brothers Taraka and Simhamukha. Simhamukha becomes Durga’s (another one of Shiva’s consort) vehicle in the form of a lion and Surapadman becomes Kartikeya’s peacock.

Sigh! These stories are wonderful and also endless. I admire Amish for the work he has done. He must have done vast and disciplined research to write such books on ancient India and also make bestsellers out of them. I am definitely waiting eagerly for the third book.

Life's Milestones

It’s amazing how children grow up. I don’t think there is anything else that is as fascinating as witnessing the growth of his/her child for a parent.

My first born turns five this month. He is a loving-high-energy-curious-tantrum-throwing 5 year old, in other words, a normal 5 year old. His questions know no bounds. I am having so much fun with him and I worry that all these ‘moments’ that I spend with him will slip out of my memory. I feel that time is passing by so quickly that I want to grab as much of him as possible before he turns into this probably-not-accessible-teenager!

He understands the concept of irreversible time. When I was lamenting the fact that he is growing up too fast and I would have liked him to be a baby for some more time, he actually said with a very superior look on his face that “amma, time cannot be reversed, a toy clock can be reversed but a real clock cannot be reversed (Quote: “time-na hinde maaDoke agalla, aaTada clock na hinde tirgsbodu, real clock na tirgsoke agalla” )!

He is very interested in speed and relative speed. When it comes to driving the car/safari on trips or even inside the city, he always prefers to be seated in the front so that he can check the speedometer frequently. He knows that the bike cannot match up to a car’s speed, a car cannot match up to the safari’s speed, the safari to the train’s and the train’s to the airplane’s. He constantly says that he is very frustrated with his bicycle because according to him he cannot even drive at 10kmph on that! I am yet to introduce him to rockets and spaceships :-)

The other interest in his life as of today is the dinosaur. Again comparisons come into picture. How large is the dinosaur, as big as an elephant, as big as a whale, larger than them? What do they eat? Why do some dinosaurs have two legs and two “hands” and why do some walk on all their fours? Why do some have spikes on their backs? Of course, all these questions are in the present tense because he does not really understand the concept of extinction. I have tried explaining, but the repeat telecasts of Jurassic Park and Lost World are not helping me. I never gave up though. I used to pitch in whenever appropriate about how dinosaurs are not alive anymore. One such conversation led to this exchange. So how did they die, he asked. A shower of fire stones from the sky killed them off, I said. He had a terrified look on his face after that particular explanation. Hence I have decided to just stall that topic to another time!

He also wonders about the facts of life and death. He saw a cremation scene on TV the other day and he was horrified that a man was being burnt. I explained to him that the man was dead and he would not feel anything and it was mandatory to burn the body. He then asked what being dead meant. I told him that when someone gets very old or when people are very sick or if they get hit by a bullet or a bomb, that person dies and never comes back. He connected this to a dog who was hit by a bus that he saw on his way to school and asked if animals and birds die too. I said yes, they do. So now, he goes around asking his grandparents or any random stranger who has grey hair when they are going to die. It is all very embarrassing but I think that this is better than feeding him wrong explanations. This curiosity too will wear off when something more interesting comes his way and knowing him, that would not be a long wait. But I am not sure that the people who are questioned thus have a similar understanding :-)

I cannot chronicle all the moments that his daddy and I have spent like these but we are all warm and fuzzy in the heart for having such happiness in our lives.

I wish this lovely boy a great birthday and I hope to make that day special for him.